I'm Only Here Right Now Because of G-d.....
Not long ago I had emergency surgery, and from the moment just before it began, I felt myself being gently lifted and held, and carried. And the voice spoke gently and surely into me and said, "I've got you."
It was not anything I ever heard or conceived of. I was held by arms so strong and gentle and I have never felt more safe in my entire life. I had no fear whatsoever.
And as the surgeon worked to save my life, I was far from the OR, and in a place with G-d, or maybe my angel. I cannot say for sure. But we were elsewhere, there is no doubt. I felt strong and soft hands rubbing my arms and shoulders, reassuring me the whole time, and that voice I shall never forget, that kept saying,
"I've got you. Don't worry."
I never worried. No matter the outcome, which I knew was not in my control, I knew I was safe, and loved, and would be where I was supposed to be if I awoke in this world or not. I felt we were in a holding place, not in heaven, not on earth. It seemed decisions were being made, but all the while I was cocooned in love and warmth. This seemed to go on for a long time.
My surgery lasted over 4 hours....
When I did wake up in recovery, I immediately told my son where I had been. I guess given the nature of the emergency and the stress surrounding the waiting and worry, it was hard for him to accept. But I have never wavered one bit on what transpired during those hours.
I even asked the surgeon if it could have been the anaesthesiologist, and he absolutely assured me no one was touching my arms or shoulders, and the medicine had all been given to me in my iv.
I am a changed person because of this. Nothing bothers me. I have total faith in my Creator. I take nothing for granted. I was always very spiritual, but G-d is everything, and gratitude means more to me than ever.
I do not know why I was returned here to continue living, but I believe it will be revealed to me, whether through an opportunity to be of service, or my continued service I do, or just being a loving, kind hearted person. Or maybe something entirely different.
I do know my heart is willing and open. And life is so precious.
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