Saturday, March 29, 2014

Life , and all that means, Shows up....

There are smudges on the twilight sky tonight, like charcoal streaks across a darkening background, and they are appropriate.
Because there has been a lot of wreckage of late, and I've done a lot of hand holding as the processing takes place. And it feels like charcoal tears streaking down the cheeks of those I love. I'm grateful for the capacity G-d has blessed me with that gives me the gift to listen and hold and keep and offer love and support. It is coming up a lot right now in many areas of my life and it feels right. I'm at a place of acceptance with my mother too. And I feel my own prayers answered in that acceptance and loving compassion, and I am beyond grateful that I can allow others in again and not just be alone in my heart.

I'm feeling a lot more calm. I'm feeling a lot less panic.


  And I know this is the presence of G-d because I have asked for that strength and support and I am never alone because of that.
 And the gifts I have been given rise again to the fore and distract me from the spinning thoughts. I am very grateful.
 I read an interesting piece about how, after we die, we are asked by our angels, our "true name". This is not the name we were given in this life, but the name that tells our purpose in this life, the reason we were here. And how it might roll right off our tongue, and if not, it will be what we are sent back again to learn once more until we get it, in our next life. It was interesting to me because I didn't know that Jews believed in angels, but also because of the reincarnation aspect. And then because I've always had a very deep-seated notion of some lesson I've been sent here to learn. It really resonated with me. I'm grateful today for calm in my home, peace in my heart and love. It's really what I've sought my whole life and now I truly have it. And grateful for all of you.